Everyone knows about the cute parts of childbirth.
The shower gifts, the outpouring of love from family and friends, and (of course) the adorable newborn baby.
But, there is a not-so-cute side. In fact, calling it “not-so-cute” is putting it way too lightly. The reality is that there is a grotesque side to giving birth. Your body will leak, swell, and malfunction in ways that you cannot possibly be prepared for. That is why you need an honest person (or a particularly forthright blogger) in your life who is willing to let you in on these typically unspoken changes.
WARNING: The following list is not for those with weak stomachs.
Puberty-level breakouts. Even if you haven’t had to pop a pimple since junior high, you can expect your postpartum skin to sprout at least a few zits. More than likely, you will have a bout with acne that can last months. Even the latest skincare craze is no match (but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try).
Thinning hair. Those postnatal hormones can be a bitch and the worst infraction might be hair loss you’re likely to experience. Clogged drains and bald spots can be tough to manage. So grab yourself some biotin vitamins and a fabulous hat for the time being.
Super duper heavy period flows. Wasn’t that 9 months with no period a nice getaway from your monthly cycle? Well now it’s back…with a vengeance! You are going to want to invest in some very heavy duty pads or else you’re bound to ruin your favorite jeans. Better yet, you might want to steer clear of wearing nice pants altogether during that time of the month just to be safe.
Peeing your pants. You might want to rethink streaming your favorite sitcom. Why? Because the slightest giggle will have you springing more leaks than the Titanic. As a matter of fact, coughing, sneezing, or any sudden outburst will result in wetting your undies. Another reason to stock up on the panty liners.
Overactive sweat glands. You know how you look like you jumped in a pool after a hot yoga session or long summer jog? Then you might have some idea of what to expect when your postpartum hormones kick into action. You won’t need to hit the sauna because you will drenched from head to toe all too often. Get ready to clean your bed sheets regularly.
Ever-expanding feet. Bigfoot is not just a beast relegated to folklore. You can expect your feet to grow up to a full size larger after giving birth. It might be swelling, extra weight, or just flattened arches. But no need to run and hide in the woods. At least you have an excuse to buy yourself some new heels.
Milk soaked shirts. Breast milk is one of the miracles associated with childbirth. But it might not feel that way when you’re out in public and you’ve soaked straight through your bra. Leaking breast milk is an incredibly common problem among new moms. Luckily, THE TIT KIT can help you with this one!
A funny smell. You might notice at certain times of day that your lady parts develop an odor you’ve never noticed before. Lochia is a vaginal discharge you can expect after delivery that might be especially present in the morning, during workouts, or when breastfeeding. We recommend feminine wipes to take extra special care of your vagina during these trying times.
Make sure you throw a baby shower that is fitting for the honoree and stays true to her taste and style. Here, we have a comprehensive timeline and checklist to plan the perfect party!
After giving birth everyone asked about my baby, but no one checked in on my own well-being. If they did, they would of learned I was falling apart at the seams.
